My cat died

Ming was my cat for over 16 years, I got her when she was about 8 weeks old in March/April 2009. I'm 40 years old now, which means I've had her with me for the majority of what I consider my adult life to be.

We moved houses multiple times, going from our own house, to a shared house, to our own house and finally what is now the 'family' or 'forever home'. She was mostly an outdoor cat, with a stint of being indoors that was almost certainly a mistake for a few reasons.

Ming was feisty, territorial and loyal. She would meet me at the door when I came in, just for a fuss and a hello. There were times where she was stressed, with peeing on the floor a few times but usually only when we moved or things were a bit unsettled. For the most part, she was a great cat. The perfect cat.

Loyal isn't usually the word that you might use to describe a cat. Their known to have a reputation of being aloof, you hear stories of how they visit multiple houses to get food and be spoiled. But Ming never did anything like that. Sure she would ask for dinner hours before it was due, she'd come into the kitchen when she knew you were making something with ham or cheese in the hope of getting a piece (which she almost always did).

But she was loyal because I was her person and she was my cat. There was a long period of time where she'd come and snuggle under the covers when I went to bed, before getting too hot and laying back on the top. She'd always want to be nearby, certainly as time went on sitting right next to you so you were touching, but didn't necessarily want a fuss.

Ming didn't like most people. She was known for being fierce. New people were generally met with curiosity and followed up with a claw or a bite to let them know she'd had enough and she wasn't interested. Ming fought with all the cats that came into her various gardens, even foxes and only in her old age did she give that up.

But I could hold her like a baby, in my arms, scratching her chin and behind the ear. She couldn't get enough fuss, strokes and scratches. She met every rub by pushing her face across my hands, she'd tap me to get more and lay on my chest for hours at a time if you'd let her.

When my daughter was born, I was worried that Ming might be a bit too much for her, quick to react with claw. But Ming was careful, she guarded. She lay next to her and in later years would sit next to my daughter as if she was me. Sitting. Touching. Being with us. You could tell that there was a special bond, 'this is my family and we look after this young one' you could almost imagine Ming to say. I can't imagine anyone ever harming my daughter, but Ming was there just in case.

I keep looking around for her. Walking into the living room, expecting her to be laying on the sofa, or in her bean bag or somewhere close by. I sit in the garden, expecting her to be laying in the bushes or lounging on the patio. I expect to see her walk back in after finishing her dinner, licking and cleaning herself before finding a spot to let her dinner go down.

I had 16 years with Ming. Most of my adult life. To think how different I am now compared to then and to think she was there for all of it. And I loved her for every moment. So many hours of cuddles, conversations and companionship. Spoiling her, sometimes shouting at her when she did something wrong, but always quickly reconciling again for another snuggle.

I miss her terribly. Even though cats are mostly self reliant, it's the being there that you so miss. That acknowledgement of each other, those moments where you sit and take 15 minutes to drink your coffee and sit, cuddle, stroke and fuss. Feeling her soft fur, the strong purr and the reciprocated love. 

My heart is bigger because of Ming, I owe my life to her in many ways, especially when things were darker and less happy. She always made me smile, always warmed my heart. It's quieter, emptier and colder without her. 

I wish I could hold her one more time, touching her fur and run my hands through it. Touch noses with her and embrace her. 

Ming, you will always be in my heart. Thank you for being my cat.